Manoj Bhusal's old Blog :D

I am not writing here anymore!

2011-10-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

Dear readers and followers,

I am no longer managing this blog. My recent writings can be found on my personal website:
http://www.manojbhusal.net

Thank you,

Manoj

Follow your destiny

2010-06-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

Follow your destiny,

Water your plants,

Love your roses.

The rest is shadow

Of unknown trees.

Reality is always

More or less

Than what we want.

Only we are always

Equal to ourselves.

It’s good to live alone,

And noble and great

Always to live simply.

Leave pain on the altar

As an offering to the gods.

See life from a distance.

Never question it.

There’s nothing it can

Tell you. The answer

Lies beyond the Gods.

But quietly imitate

Olympus in your heart.

The gods are gods

Because they don’t think

About what they are.

By the way, where are you based in?

2009-12-03T01:38:00.000-08:00

At the moment, I’m in Bangladesh. More accurately in northern Bangladesh. This land is amazing, there is no doubt about it. People are amazing; the food is amazing, everything is amazing except a few things that I’ll write some day later.

Anyway, like my own country Nepal, I saw that Bangladesh also is an NGO bazaar, which means a million non-governmental organizations working for the people, doing small and big miracles everyday and trying to reach the Millennium Development Goals very soon, and God knows what else more!

So far so good. But the problem begins when you find yourself, an undergraduate toddler, caught up into an NGO net and don’t understand the language they, the NGO people, speak. Can you imagine? It happened with me, and is still happening!

I’m working with one of the oldest and biggest and most reputed NGOs in Bangladesh which employs more than five thousand people and has hundreds of programmes in thousands of villages. My supervisor, research assistant and guides and all those people are nice and cooperative and it’s not difficult to understand what they speak and do and think, but I’m in trouble when I have to sit and talk and eat with other ‘big’ people, Bangladeshi and foreigners, in Rangpur, the NGO’s headquarters.

They never ask you where you are from. Instead, they ask, ‘where are you based in?’ NGOs are not interested in where you were born and attended primary school and had your first crush, but they want to know your present, the very moment what the hell you are doing and where. About a month ago, for the first time, one Toronto-based guy and another London-based lady asked me this question and since then more than a dozen people have asked the same question in the same manner. For the first time, it was kind of difficult to figure out what to answer. I was surrounded by the people who were ‘based in’ big cities like London, California, Toronto and Calcutta, but where I was based in? In fact, I’m based in Järvenpää. That’s the truth, but I don’t know why, I feel kind of shy to say, ‘I’m based in Järvenpää’. I know nobody knows about it, but still... Then can I say I’m based in Finland? No…cause people are mentioning the cities they are based in. I figure out instantly, one can be based in a city, not in a country. Then I think a bit and say, ‘Well, I’m based in Helsinki.’ ‘Oh, interesting!’ they say, I give a smile and my heartbeat rises for a moment.

‘Järvenpää is also a part of greater Helsinki,’ I think and console myself and move forward to the discussion.

Then exactly the opposite happens when you move down to the ground. When I’m in villages talking with ordinary, often very poor and illiterate, people and meeting small kids in schools, I encounter a completely different sets of questions. They are not interested so to say where I’m based in or what I’m studying or what’s the subject area of my dissertation. They start with where is my home. Yes, I like that sort of solid questions. They continue asking, where is my home, how many family members I have, what my parents and siblings do, why I came to Bangladesh, What is good and bad about this country, whether I’m married or not and so on. I don’t need to think twice about these questions, I answer them all in a second and think, ye huyi na baat!

Another problem with NGOs is that they are riddled with abbreviations. It takes ages to fully understand what those abbreviations really stand for. When I interview serious NGO workers, let’s say about their recent work (they call it intervention, by the way) it’s very likely that they would answer me something like this.

“RSRS is implementing the VGEPNB project which is an RBA funded by DCA.”

Can you make a sense out of this? I can’t.

Then you ask for an explanation and finally know the following things.

RSRS: Rangpur Saidpur Rural Service

VGEPNB: Vulnerable Group Empowerment Project in Northern Bangladesh

RBA: Rights based approach

DCA: Danish Church Aid

NGOs you are awesome!

Meeting Sodiful and Ratna again

2009-11-06T02:16:00.000-08:00

On the 1st of November, I again travelled to Panchagarh, the northernmost and very disadvantaged place in Bangladesh, where many people were eagerly waiting me. Youths of Hari-Bhasa union federation were waiting me to begin their community media workshop and guys at Tetulia were excitedly waiting to take me to an amazing (though very tiresome) tour to the Indo-Bangla tea garden, Banglabandha trade point and show me the Nepalese mountains from there.

However, most importantly, there were two kids who were waiting me not excitingly, but rather desperately. Sodiful and Ratna knew that they were going to get help to save their mother, but they didn’t know exactly when the help was coming. Our plan was to handover the money already before one week, but due to delay in bank-transfer and my hectic schedule in another district, we made it possible only on the 2nd of November.

Mr Hasinur told me that instead of going to Phuljan’s home, we were going to a Federation office where a kind of formal programme was organized to handover the money. I personally didn’t like the idea that much, but still I didn’t interfere with the plan they had already made. Hasinur also told me on the way that Phuljan’s case had already been exposed in the local area and people from the Union Federation, schools and NGOs were also about to attend the programme.

All people were waiting us when we reached the place. We asked Phuljan about her recent health condition and talked with the kids too. The federation chairman Saidur Rahman delivered a short speech and conveyed his and his community’s thanks to the money contributors. After that, I handed over the money to Phuljan (total 16186.00Tk). They had also prepared an acknowledgement letter and handed over that to me. We also discussed about the next step they have to take and formed a group that’s going to help Phuljan for her treatment so that the kids don’t need to take stress. The group consists of a retired and renowned local teacher named Saiful Islam, a community health worker Hafizul Islam and a lady volunteer working for the union federation.

Finally we took some photographs and I talked with other participants as well. Before we left, Phuljan cried and asked me to convey her huge thanks to those who have helped her and her family. I assured that I would definitely do that. We told the kids to study properly and not to leave school. But just before we were leaving, to my utter surprise, Sodiful came to shake hands with me and hugged me. This incident nearly made me cry.

Thanks to the BIG hearts!

2009-10-20T03:49:00.000-07:00

I sincerely thank all of my friends, my blog readers and all the wonderful and generous people who responded our appeal and contributed for Phuljan’s treatment, ultimately giving a new life to that family and offering new prospect to the two little kids who were striving hard to find a treatment possibility for their ailing mother.

So far we have collected 171 Euros which is already 21 Euros more than the minimum amount needed for her treatment. It is, of course, very good that we have been able to raise little extra amount which will be of immense use for the family. For the sake of transparency, the contributors’ name and the amount donated have been mentioned below:

Silver Lining Creation (Charity fund) - €55.00

RISTO IMPONEN: €30.00

MD MIAH (& friends): €25.00

Veli-Matti Vähäkivijärvi: €25.00

KOKKONEN TIINA: €15.00

SARAJÄRVI ANNE ELISA: €10.00

MR. MANOJ BARTAULA: €6.00

JOHANSSON MARIA: €5.00

Total: €171.00 (Equivalent to 17100 Tk)

As the family doesn’t have any bank account, the money has already been transferred to Mr Hasinur Rahman’s local bank account and it will take upto a week to be deposited into the account. Currently I am doing a research fieldwork in another part of Bangladesh (in Kurigram) which is almost 5 hours drive from the village of that family. However, I am in contact with Mr Hasinur who is working in that particular area. The family has been already informed that they are going to receive financial assistance for Phuljan’s treatment and, reportedly, the news was a very pleasant surprise for them. Consultation with the doctors is going to be start soon.

On the first of November, I am going to visit that family and the money we have raised will be provided to the family on the same day. There will be local representatives, NGO workers and at least one community health worker present during the handover and, afterwards, we are planning that we will form a treatment assistance committee so that the family can receive other support during the treatment process and facilitate post-operation care as well.

I once again thank all of you who provided the money on time and made this charity possible. I understand that raising money is not an easy task, but due to generous people like you it has been possible. One of the donors donated all the money she had in her account just leaving 0.40 cents in there. Some people could not donate money, but gave us solidarity by sending messages and joining the facebook group. Some even went on to say that they burst into tears after reading the story on my blog and informed that they have been praying for the family. All these meant a lot to us.

Please note that we have formally closed donation request for this case now, so, now onwards don’t send any amount without properly contacting us in advance. All bank account information provided earlier has been removed not to make confusion. However, once again BIG THANKS to all of you and I will be available with further updates after November the 1st. Good luck to all of you!

Help Sodifur and Ratna to save their mother!

2009-10-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

I’m not a journalist, but sometimes you confront situations where you cannot stay without reporting or letting know others what you have seen and experienced.

Yesterday, in very northern part of Bangladesh, near Indian-Bangladesh border, in an area called Panchagarh, I met a 12 years old girl in a regular microfinance group meeting that microfinance institutions organize to collect loan repayment from their client. The girl was there to represent her mother and, not having any money to pay, she was there to request for a deferment of the payback schedule.

I was surprised by the presence of such a little girl in that meeting of the oldies. Through the help of my translator, I asked her that why she was there instead of her mother. She briefly replied, “She is sick.” The girl did not say anything more. She swabbed her dry leaps and moved away from there. When she was already gone, the other women told us about the family of that girl and the difficulties they are having after their father died nine months ago and, to worst, the only guardian they have left, their mother, is also suffering from cancer.

I explained the situation to the programme manager of that area from the NGO I’m working with. He, Mr. Hasinur, a very compassionate personal, agreed to visit the family with me and have more detailed information of the problem. This morning we took a motorbike and went to visit the family to their home.

In a corner of a village, we reached a little home made of straws. We saw that yesterday’s little girl in front of her house. After cooking some porridge for her ailing mother, she was getting prepared to go to school. Her fourteen years brother Sodiful, had already left home early in the morning, as usual, to work as a laborer somewhere in the city.

Till two years ago, Phuljan Rahman, 35, had a happy family. They had always been poor, but things were getting better as her husband, Abdul, was a laborious man. They had two kids who used to go to school; they owned a house, a little land, a cow and a couple of goats. Their little happy world started crumbling down when Abdul was diagnosed of brain cancer two years ago. They did everything possible to save him. They sold all of their lands, the house, cattle everything. They got help from a few (poor) relatives they had, the neighbors raised fund and she got some loan from microfinance companies. From all those activities they collected almost 150000 Tk (1500 Euros) and all money was spent for Abdul’s unsuccessful treatment.

After her husband’s death, Phuljan herself started working as a laborer, but kids continued to go to school. However, after few months, she herself became sick. When she went to the doctor, she got a reply that she has a cancerous tumor inside her stomach and that should be removed as early as possible. This was, obviously, another big shock to the family.

Phuljan tried her best to get some money for her treatment, but it wasn’t possible. All the assets of the family had been sold for her husband’s treatment and nobody gives her loan because she is not credit-worthy anymore. Neighbors and relatives also turn their head and don’t want to keep contact with her. Government has categorized her as a ‘vulnerable poor’ and all what she gets from the government is a few kgs of wheat grains every month. There isn’t any free medical help available. Fourteen years old Sodiful left his school and started working as a laborer hoping that he will be able to save little by little from his earning and one day will be able to treat her mother. His earning is so low (50-60 cents/day) that his dream is almost impossible to achieve.

Many of Phuljan’s dreams have already been shattered, but still she has one dream left. She wants to survive not for herself, but for her kids’ future. She wants to get cured, start working as a laborer and wants Sodiful back to school again.

After listening to Phuljan’s stories for almost two hours, I didn’t know what to tell and how to respond. I was completely shocked and swayed away by emotions. I have seen poverty, sufferings, hunger, death of a parent and so on, but I had never seen such a situation where after the death of a father, mother is waiting to die and two kids are struggling to meet their ends and there is absolutely no external help available. There are many sad stories in the developing world, but Phuljan’s story is identical to a horrifying chapter of a tragic novel.

Afterwards, we talked about the possible costs that would need for her treatment. She had already consulted a government hospital which was ready to give some discounts because she was categorized as hard-core poor, but anyhow, she needed to deposit 10000 Tk as an operation cost and for medicines and post-operation care, she needs at least 5000 Tk. Altogether what they need is 15000 Tk which is equivalent to 150 Euros only.

We didn’t promise anything to her, but said to her that if any help is available we will let her know. We returned to our guest house. Hasinur was also very sad. He didn’t speak that much. I could see that he is a generous man, but he also can’t do anything. The amount needed is almost equivalent to his two months salary and he has his own family to support.

We talked again about that case. We thought of various local possibilities, but nothing seemed viable. There are NGOs in every street and corner, but what they mostly do is huge seminars and big parties in star hotels. Phuljan has been the client of four microfinance NGOs for more than a decade, but now what she is getting from them is constant reminder notes and messages to ‘repay her loan as soon as possible’.

I had one option with me. The option is my friends- my friends on facebook and my friends from school. I talked to Hasinur that I can at least try once requesting my friends and if they show little generosity we will be able to collect 150 Euros within few days. If my friends skip one McDonald food or drink less beer this weekend or cut their ice-cream intake for a day, it will be possible. And I have belief on my friends that they will try their best to give a mother to already orphaned kids and give a new life to a mother who wants to survive for the future of her kids.

I sincerely request all of my friends and readers of this article to contribute as much as you can and save this family from being collapse. You can donate 1,2,5,10, 20 Euros or as much as you can.

If you have a European or American bank account, in order to minimize transfer cost, you can make a donation either by paypal or by bank transfer. (PLEASE NOTE THAT WE HAVE RAISED THE AMOUNT NEEDED FOR HER TREATMENT SO TO AVOID CONFUSION BANKING INFORMATION HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS BLOG, IF YOU NEED FURTHER INFORMATION YOU CAN REACH US BY EMAIL OR PHONE MENTIONED BELOW- THANKS FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE AND SUPPORT FOR A HUMANITARIAN CAUSE)

Please write Phuljan’s treatment on reference or message section. And please send a message to me after you make a donation or just before you are making a donation. If you are not in a condition to make a donation at the moment due to some reasons, for instance, you are away from your home and you don’t have banking cards with you, it is also possible that you can make the donation later, but you should confirm the amount you want to donate. We will count you in and arrange money to temporarily substitute your donation.

In Finland, it’s also possible to submit your donation to Mr Sudip Joshi, Diak-Järvenpää, Phone: +358442089009

If you are in Asia pacific or the Middle East, you can send your donation directly to the following account,

Please be sure that the money that you will donate will be spent on the cause which has been mentioned and all the donors will get proper proof that the money they have donated has been delivered to the above mentioned beneficiary (Phuljan) and for her treatment.

For more information contact:

Manoj Bhusal in Bangladesh +8801716266650, email: manoj.bhusal@student.diak.fi or

Mr Hasinur Rahman +8801730328056, hasinur.rdrs@yahoo.com

We hope that you will try your best to prevent a family from being collapse and give a new future to two little kids who are far far from you in a rural Bengali village, but equally love their mom as well all do.

Thank you,

Your friend,

Manoj Bhusal

from Rangpur, Bangladesh

(13 Oct. 2009)

Meeting the BIG dreamers!

2009-10-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

This week I went to a very remote island village of northern Bangladesh. I have been in villages here in Rangpur and Thakurgaon also, but they are in fact, not that much like a village. They have electricity, access to road, hospital, school etc. However, the Brahmaputra island area (known locally as Char) has many villages which are not only remote from the mainland Bangladesh, but also most disadvantaged and neglected from the so called mainland and the regime in Dhaka.

Government is scarcely present in the region. There are virtually no government services. No schools, no clinic, nothing. And this region is the home for eight hundred thousand people.

Some NGOs are working there and providing services to the people. An integrated development project called Char Development Programme (CLP) is underway and we were visiting the place to get to know about their services and programmes they are running.

Finally, we went to a school run by the local community. There were almost 30-40 students in a class. They were energetic and smart, but were badly hit by poverty and destitution like some other children in South Asia and Africa. They sang song for us, they performed an amazingly good parade and danced as well. We introduced ourselves and in turn they also introduced themselves. While they were introducing, we asked them as to what they wanted to be in the future. Most of them wanted to big engineers, the rest chose doctor, teacher, pilot, army and so on.

I really wish that these dreamers will be able to achieve their dreams. If conditions are favorable, what they are dreaming is not impossible. However, if pace of reform and progress remains like this, most of them, sadly, will end up being rickshaw pullers, laborers,petty farmers or some of them will be swept away by river which runs madly just few meters far from their homes.

It is not only a challenge of Bangladesh, but many countries in the global south will have to think and work seriously to reduce poverty from the region and offer more opportunities to their people.

The visit was kind of reflection of my childhood for me. I was lucky to be relatively well off than those kids, but I also have the same experience of studying in a small room with too many kids with insufficient study materials and infrastructure and so on.

I personally donated some money to the school so that those kids will be able to get some educational materials at least for some time. Briefly speaking, I also told them about some similarities between their life and my childhood and told them to study hard despite all unfavorable conditions they have.

They gave a long applause and said us bye bye. I'm back from that village and preparing for another field work, but those little kids are still running in my mind.

Some quotes by Kahlil Jibran...one of my best authors!!

2009-08-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

Kahlil Jibran was a wonderful writer and still he is read by millions all over the world. 'The Prohhet' has been his all time favourite, and perhaps I hope you've already read that. If you haven't, I recommend you do that.

These quotes are original in the sense that they were not copied and pasted from any internet site. These quotes were compiled when I was reading Jibran's most famous writings. I did that last summer and got energy to post them today. This summer I studied nothing significant. I wonder what I will be posting next summer. Anyway, I will find some stuff if my blog readers continue to read my blog. Now you enjoy the quotes!

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always
remember.

What difference does it make, whether you live in a big city or in a community of homes ? The real life is within.

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.

Hell is not in torture; Hell is in an empty heart.

Knowledge is life with wings.

The real in us is silent; the acquired is talkative.

An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind.

Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.

An Ecological Date?

2009-06-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

This short film is a part of the Silver Lining Creation public awareness series. This is going to be promoted by some environmental organizations and also will be screened in short film (under five minutes film) festivals.

The film was shot almost within 20 minutes and after 30 minutes of editing and rectification, within less than an hour, it was ready! Still there appear to be minor errors, but well, we are not professionals and are at learning phase, so that is quite okay:))

What do in Nepal? Part II

2009-06-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

People make promises and don’t keep them. That’s the thing with many people. I did the same. I promised to post my second and final part of ‘What to do in Nepal’ article already last weekend, but I didn’t. I couldn’t, in fact.

Those who were desperately waiting for my second post have already come back to their countries. They are angry with me, of course, but, fortunately, they are far in another continent. I don’t know what they would have done with me if I were just around them. Perhaps they would have asked for a death penalty or a lifetime prison to me or I would have been stoned to death for my infidelity!

Anyway, there are still many boys and girls who are planning to visit Nepal and I hope this trend continues and their grandchildren will also choose to visit Nepal even after one hundred years. Long live Nepal!

Now on this post, I briefly tell you what to do outside Kathmandu as a fifteen days visitor to Nepal.

If you have loads of money and don’t care about spending much, then, take flights to different cities. If you are a rich dude, please do that because tourism is one of the strongest pillars of the Nepalese economy and if you guys become too much stingy that’s not so good for us.

However, we know that all people who have white skins, wear black gogs, and speak English don’t always wear jeans stuffed with the green dollars ( note: I don’t want to talk about Japanese, Chinese and Korean species who visit Nepal every year, I should write for them separately) . So if you belong to one of them, the ones who don’t have that much money, always take mini or micro-buses while travelling outside the Kathmandu valley. Most of them are white in color, by the way. They are small, clean, cozy and everything! If you haven’t bought your tickets in advance, don’t be very shy, talk to a Nepali dude in there and pay as much as he or she has paid. Almost all Nepali people read religious scriptures at least once in their lifetime and try their best to follow them, but, sometimes, some of them, especially those who are working in private transportation companies, suddenly forget all those moral teachings and start cheating people. That’s why.

It’s not so common though.

Let’s share some of my personal stories. I was born and raised in a remote Nepali village and spent my childhood playing almost equally with my human friends and goats, and buffalo ‘friends’, so still when I think of Nepal it is all about that 80% villages we have all over the country. They are serene and peaceful lands where honesty persists despite poverty and sharing is common even in scarcity. My inner feeling about villages is that, unlike in cities, almost 99% girls and 97% boys don’t play with the virginity rules before they get married. That’s why you will see many robust boys and stunning girls in villages.

Nowadays, I have a home in Kathmandu and I am supposed to live there with my family when I’m in Nepal, but all I want to do is visit Nepalese villages and rivers and mountains. I know that people in my village have started calling me a disloyal Kathmanduist guy, but somewhere inside me, I still preserve that affection for my village and, frequently I remember all those boys and girls, my childhood friends, who would pluck apples and plums for me without expecting anything back in return. They are grown up buddies nowadays and most of them already have children who can pluck apples and plums if needed.

So for me, Nepal starts when I leave Kathmandu and Nepal ends when I enter Kathmandu. That’s the thing.

So when you leave Kathmandu, Nepal starts. Pokhara is not a village, but I recommend you go there. It’s a beautiful city with various lakes, caves, streams and Machhapuchre Himal is seen very near from there. I have seen many foreigners almost losing their mental balance in excitement when they see that shiny mountain so near. You can look at the picture below, but it is so DIFFERENT when you yourself are there.

When you’re in Pokhara, if you don’t have any friends or a guide, the best way is to take a taxi and visit the most interesting 6-7 places recommended by the taxi driver. If you don’t want to be extra generous, you don’t need to pay more than 20 dollars for almost 4-5 hours. My last advice for Pokhara visitors would be that don’t miss the sunrise view of Sarangkot early in the morning.

If you don’t have any plan to go for a trek, now, it’s wise to go to Chitwan from Pokhara. You’ll see wonderful villages on the way. Unless you are a part of a very strictly planned travel trip, it is good to spend some time in those villages. Meet the villagers, talk to them, eat their cucumbers and accept Nepalese tea from them. Don’t forget to poke their children and say Namaste and Dhanyabaad (thank you). After spending nice time in villages, you should rush towards Chitwan where all tigers, and crocodiles and rhinos are waiting you. I don’t want to tell you many things about Chitwan because one thing is enough. Do jungle Safari there. If you love rafting, the Trisuli River is on the way. It’s safe and relatively cheap as well. However, don’t try to do that in the monsoon season, otherwise, you’ll straight reach heaven from there!

You met the people; you enjoyed the nature and spent time with Nepalese animals also, now it’s time to be a bit spiritual. It’s quite easy to go Lumbini from Chitwan so I advise you don’t miss that. I wouldn’t come back without visiting Mecca and Medina if I were visiting Saudi Arabia and I would definitely see Bethlehem if I were to wander around Israel. Lumbini is the place where Gautam Buddha, the founder of Buddhist philosophy, was born 2600 years ago. He is considered to be the light of Asia, and some people, call him and worship him as God.

I’m not a Buddhist missionary worker, and have a lot of issues and problems pending with different gods and religions, but even as an agnostic I clearly know that religions do play a huge, both good as well as bad, role in today’s world. So try to visit this place as well. Coincidently, this place is only a few kilometers far from my village. When you go there, don’t forget to carry my greetings to my people, my trees, my rivers, my mountains, and my soil there.

I don’t want to write more than this. If it’s possible to extend your visit from mere 15 days, then go more towards west from there. Visit the mountainous regions and don’t come back without seeing Rara Lake. This is a wonderful lake which one Nepali king termed as ‘an amazing combination of all the beauties of heaven’. In fact, he wrote a poem about that lake. Not difficult to guess, he was in love with that lake. If you’re interested in forest and wildlife things there are many many places in the western region where you’ll forget your civilization and once again will have an opportunity to be wild and natural.

I should stop now. If you have any questions, send me an email to: mbhusal@gmail.com , I will surely answer, but not sure how fast. If it isn’t useful for you, your children will benefit from that, so don’t hesitate. Have a nice time in Nepal!

Related Article: What to do in Nepal Part I

The Third Generation (2009)

2009-06-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

When the sun is in the sky

2009-06-01T01:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, it seems that summer has begun, at least in the country wher I am living at the moment. Summer means a lot for the people who have to bear harsh winter monthes with extreme low temperatures.

Summer means a zeal, a hope, a season for fun in many western countries, but there are countries in the global south where plight begins with summer.Specially floods, epedemics and extreme temperature claim many lives every year. Well, let's hope that this is not going to happen this year.

Personally I haven't made any new summer plans as I have quite many old things to continue. I will be working part-tim as usual and having some fun with friends as well. Let's see how everything goes.

Finger crossed, I hope I will manage to read at least some research books during this period. However, now I post some jokes for you to read when you are having picnic with your pals!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

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Which day of the week do fish hate?.......

Fry-Day

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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

´कस्तो´ हैन ´सस्तो´

2009-06-01T00:49:00.000-07:00

....´लौं पानी नभएको बेलाँ जाती भो,´ कोरेली गाईले गहुत्याउँदै गर्दा बाले हत्तपत्त गोबर लिपिएको हात पखाल्दै भने, ´यो गाई साह्रै गुनी छ।´ हो बा, मान्छेभन्दा जनावर गुनी भएको देश हो यो। जिउँदो गैँडाको खाग उखेल्छन् मान्छे। पैसाका लागि हात्तीका दाह्रा उप्काउँछन्, बाघ मार्छन्, विदेशमा बाँदर बेच्छन्। आफ्नै छोरीचेली बेच्नेसँग अरू के कुरा? ´हामी जन्तु यिनीहरू मान्छे, है बा?´ बा हाँसे।

´पत्रिकाँ के लेख्छस् त, सम्चार?´ मैले हो भन्दै टाउको हल्लाउँदा उनले थपे, ´कस्तो?´। साँच्ची म कस्तो समाचार लेख्छु? मैले यो प्रश्न कहिल्यै आफूलाई सोधिन। मलाई थाहा छ, मेरो कलमले हुम्लाको भोक बोल्नुअघि पिज्जा र बर्गरको इतिहास कोर्ने गर्छ। डोल्पाको विकराल स्वास्थ्यबारे बेखबर यो कलम नेतालाई ज्वरो आउँदा मसी वाक्ने गर्छ। ताप्लेजुङको १५ दिने कठिन पैदलबारे १५ हरफ कोर्न नपाउँदै काठमाडौंको १५ मिनेट जामबारे पाँच पान्ना भरिन्छ। मन कुँडाउँदै भन्नुपर्छ, हो बा म समाचार लेख्छु, ´कस्तो´ हैन ´सस्तो´।.... (साभार: दैनिकी डट कम)

Yudhisthira’s Wisdom

2009-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Recently I got some interesting emails from Sydney and New York that I am a lazy and bad blogger. Well, yes that I am. I should say sorry to my those dear readers because they were eagerly waiting my second post on What to do in Nepal which I haven't managed to write yet. They said that their travel plan to Nepal was just stuck in Kathmandu, becuase had they been able to read my second post it would be easier for them to plan their days beyond Kathmandu as well.

I have been busy with one quite new stuff that we, I and some of my friends (they are also bad and lazy! after all they are my friends) are going to start. I will tell more about that later anyway. I will post my second post on What to do in Nepal before this weekend. I promise.

Can you imagine what did I reply to those dear readers of my blog? I sent them a nice moral and a sort of spiritual message that I read when I was at school. They loved it and instantly wrote me back that the message was cool.

It's a short conversation between two great guys of Hinduism. Here it goes:

According to a Hindu scripture Yudhisthira was the man with profound wisdom. Once he was travelling with his other four brothers and the day was very sunny and hot. They were very tired and thirsty, so wanted to drink water. Yudhisthira sent his one brother to fetch water from a nearby lake. Hours passed but the brother didn't come back. He sent his second brother, he also disappeared. He sent the third as well as the fourth ones, but they also didn't return.

Finally, he travelled himself and found all of his brothers dead near the lake. When he was near the corpses of his brothers, Yaksha (water god, by the way) appeared and warned him not to touch anything there unless he answers his questions. Yudhisthira agreed to answer Yaksha's questions.

Yaksha started asking.

"Tell me Yudhisthira what makes the sun shine?”
“The power of God!” Yudhisthira answered.

“What is man’s surest weapon against danger?”
“Courage! Courage is his surest weapon in danger.”

“What gives more to man than even the earth does? What feeds him and sustains him and makes him strong?”
“A mother, surely. A mother is more than the earth.”

“When does a man become loved by his fellows?”
“When he gives up pride.”

“What is that which makes a man happy when he has lost it?”
“Anger.”

“What can a man give up and immediately become rich?”
“Desire.”

Yaksha asked his final question, "What is the most surprising things about humans?"
"Indifference to the inevitability of death! People see everyone dying before their eyes, but they don't realise that they will also have to die one day."

Mr. Yaksha was very happy with Yudhisthira's answers and happily revived all of his dead brothers.

I hope you loved this stuff:)

Sixth Sense Technology? Yes!

2009-05-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Why This, Why That?

2009-05-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

I hate questions, and WH questions are the worst ones. Amongst all WHY is of my least preference. When people ask me a question attaching a dangerous WHY, it is going to be a total nightmare for me. I simply cannot answer them. Don’t ask me the reason.

Why did you come to this country instead of others?

Why did you decide to study this subject?

By the way, why did you decide to go to that country for your international placement?

Why don’t you try for a good work?

Why? Why? Whoy? Whyyyy???

I don’t know about other people, but when I do things I do without any clear-cut or visible reasons. I simply feel doing things that I want and there is no exact reason as to why I want some things and not others. Unfortunately, people keep asking me, why? I can’t just say ‘because I like that’. I need to find some extra invented words and explain how nicely all those things are going to benefit me and so on. People enjoy my explanation and think somewhere down inside me there is a power to reason, give explanations and argue; and often I leave their rooms feeling like a liar and a stupid moron.

To me doing things that I enjoy is like falling in love. You don’t know exactly why you love somebody or just one person when there are other 6 billion people available on this planet. It is very special decision that you take. You don’t know exact reasons, but still you feel a sudden urge within you. You are pulled without any visible, explainable reason.

There are things that can be answered easily when people ask me with a ‘why’ question. However, I don’t enjoy the things that I can explain with reasons. For instance, if somebody asks me, why do you work? I need to say ‘to eat’. This is a simple logical answer. This is the activity that I need to do though I don’t enjoy so much. Why do you write blogs instead of doing other nice stuff? Now this question is going to be Herculean one. I can’t answer, sorry. I have fallen in love with it.

No more Whys.

2009-05-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

Best Journalism Photos

View more presentations from powerpointslideshows.

What to do in Nepal? Part I

2009-05-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my Norwegian friends who was just preparing to fly to Nepal wrote me a long email and asked what are the things that one shouldn’t miss while visiting Nepal. There are quite many things and places in Nepal that I haven’t manage to visit yet. For example, I haven’t been to the internationally famous Mount Everest region and I do think of Mustang quite a lot because I haven’t got a chance to visit this mysterious region which lies beyond the Himalayan range. If you are not a passionate mountaineer, these are not going to work for you as well. So don’t aim to reach the top of the world, which is in Nepal, by the way.

On this post I will be writing some practical tips that might be worth reading for somebody who plans to visit Nepal for, let’s say, fifteen days as a tourist. There are quite many so called reliable travel guides and agencies, but they are a bit more commercial rather than practical. My second post will focus on places that one should visit outside Kathmandu.

I imagine myself as a foreigner now and think about the must –to-do things in Nepal.

IIIIf you don’t have enough time, don’t get messed up in Kathmandu too much. Kathmandu is the capital city, not Nepal itself. So finish all crazy stuff in Kathmandu within two days. Of course, you’ll have to spare one day for shopping before you fly back to your country.

- So what to see in Kathmandu? Start with the Narayanhiti National Museum. This must be damn interesting to you. Nepal is the youngest republic in the world and our ex-king used to live in this palace till last year (2008). So go and see what sort of things the Nepalese royals did when they were in power for more than 235 years. Don’t miss it!

- If I were a tourist in Nepal, I would also go visit Hanumandhoka museum (official Name The Tribhuvan Museum) and the National Museum in Chhauni. There are other several museums in Kathmandu, but unless you’re a student of archeology, I won’t recommend them. I simply don’t know the reason.

- When you return from Hanumandhoka museum, try to have a bird-eye view of the Kathmandu valley from Dharahara tower. You will enjoy it and afterwards don’t forget to eat mo:mo at the premises. Or go to the Kathmandu Mall which is just near, do some shopping and eat ice cream and mo:mo in Hot Chili restaurant. These are the things that I do in Nepal, so you’re getting something precious, so don’t despise it at any rate.

- If you’re not radically religious and have a slightest idea that there are other religions out there too, start your second day’s visit from Pashupatinath Temple. If you are not a Hindu, you won’t be able to enter the main temple, but from the outside also you will manage to see almost all the stuff that the insiders see. Take some photos, and if you miss your girlfriend or boyfriend back home, you’ll see quite many monkeys coming to approach you there. Give them a smile and walk away, don’t fall in love with them. Anyway, you don’t need to run because they are coming to kiss you, not to kill! Then continue your visit to Swayambhunath Stupa, another monkey infested region, but very lovely and peaceful place. If you want to know why are these places famous, please google them today.

-NNow go to Nagarjuna forest. There is a forest resort called Osho Tapoban, so if you are interested in yoga, meditation and all the other complex life philosophies that eastern guys have developed in the course of centuries, go there and have a glimpse of the place and chat with people there. I used to go there when the central Kathmandu would take my head away with noise, pollution and all that crazy stuff people do in a city with four million people. It’s called a resort, but it isn’t expensive at all. You can have nice vegetarian lunch at a reasonable price.

- Now there are other places in the valley that probably your Nepali friends might suggest you to visit such as Bhaktapur Durbar Square, Patan Durbar Square, Changunarayan, Godawari, National Zoo Jawalakhel and so on. If you have time, finish them too, because it might be expensive for you to go back there again just to visit those places. (read my forthcoming blog post for more information)

Chanakya Quotes on Life, Success, God and Women!

2009-05-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

I was literally surprised by the Google statistics on Chanakya. There are still thousands of people who search about his teachings from all over the world. Chanakya was an Indian Saint as well as a philosopher. He was born 350 BC and died 275 BC. His words of wisdom are widely cherished in India and other south asian countires including Nepal and Srilanka. In the west also, Chanakya has been studied a lot. Here are a few quotes by Chanakya which might be inspirational for some.

1. One should save his money against hard times, save his wife at the sacrifice of his riches, but invariably one should save his soul even at the sacrifice of his wife and riches.

2.Do not inhabit a country where you are not respected, cannot earn your livelihood, have no friends, or cannot acquire knowledge.

3. Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

4. Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as compared to men.

5. Separation from the wife, disgrace from one's own people, an enemy saved in battle, service to a wicked king, poverty, and a mismanaged assembly: these six kinds of evils, if afflicting a person, burn him even without fire.

6. They are fearless who remain always alert.

7.These five: the life-span, the type of work, wealth, learning and the time of one's death are determined while one is in the womb.

8. When one is consumed by the sorrows of life, three things give him relief: offspring, a wife, and the company of the Lord's devotees.

9. A young wife is poison to an aged man.

10. There is no disease (so destructive) as lust; no enemy like infatuation; no fire

like wrath; and no happiness like spiritual knowledge.

11.Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth.

12.He who lives in our mind is near though he may actually be far away; but he who is not in our heart is far though he may really be nearby.

13.Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.

14.The biggest guru-mantra is: never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.

15.The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.

Do you agree with these?

DATELINE HELSINKI

2009-04-10T01:27:00.000-07:00

Last week we, I and some of my Nepali friends, travelled from Järvenpää to Helsinki in order to meet the first prime minister of the Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal- Mr Pushpa Kamal Dahal alias Prachanda. This name used to have connotation of a mysterious hidden charisma, but when he started working as Nepal’s premiere; his name doesn’t give any thrill, of course, but instead has become a synonym of favoritism, dualism, incompetence, and to some extent negation and intolerance. Instead of his growing unpopularity at home, he enjoys a greater degree of celebration abroad especially among the Nepali Diaspora. I could see that in Helsinki too. People in Nepal were accusing him of ‘escaping’ the country when parliament session was just about to start and political chaos was already out of the bucket. Whereas he was busy receiving appellations such as ‘a great hero’ ‘the leader of our nation’ and a kind of our ‘savior’. What a joke! It reminded me of the last Nepalese king Gyanendra. Now Mr. Gyanendra, by the way.

I don’t mean to say that Mr. Prachanda deserves a hellish condemnation whereas other leaders should be worshipped for their work. What I all mean to say is Nepal has paid a huge price for Mr. Prachanda and his party. We lost 13000 youths during the decade long war and millions of people lost one thing or the other. Almost all Nepalese were on the brink of losing hope, but fortunately peace prevailed because people realized enough was enough.

Recently I read a statement given by our premiere where he said, “I work fifteen hours a day and the press does not highlight it.” I wanted to reply him, “Yes, the press does not highlight it because there are Nepalese who work 18 hours a day and find it difficult to burn their oven in the evening and there are Nepalese who swallowed bullets for their nation and gave their lives to bring our freedom back.” And these Nepalese don’t expect to become prime minister and getting highlighted by the media. These Nepalese know that only one type of personality has that sort of expectations: the narcissists.

We could not meet Mr. Prachanda in Helsinki personally, but we had a chance to take part in a discussion and have dinner with him. He talked about many ‘miracles’ that the government was going to make happen and he applauded people’s achievement and so on. I did not listen that much, because all those words were blunt to me. I wanted to get very practical answers from him. I was worried whether there will be still power cuts in Nepal when I go back home next autumn and whether my friends have enough water in Kathmandu to wash their bellies. I wanted to know whether my brother is still queuing up on a line to put petrol in his car and whether my mother is worried about the cooking gas. That was my concern. I don’t believe in leaps and jumps and miracles.

There doesn’t seem to be a better alternative in Nepal instead of this government. Yes, people say democracy is all about alternatives, but at times that’s not so practical as well. What can we do in such a situation? My job is not to come up with ready-made solutions and ship them out, but I think there is still something that can be done in order to make our nation a better land. One could be pressing them, the Maoists, hard so that they get rid of their intoxicating revolutionary past and become more responsible. It’s not the time we spend playing cards and watching Mickey Mouse cartoons, so other political parties should also become flexible especially in army integration process.

The Chinese leader Mao was asked a question when he was discussing with Chinese youths at a discussion program.

“Whose nation is this?” a young boy asked.

“It’s my nation as well as your nation, but in final analysis it’s your nation,” he replied.

Obviously, he wanted to say that the nation belonged more to the younger generation. It’s the same in our Nepali context as well. Our octogenarian leaders are naturally less concerned about our country in comparison to us. We have to spend our forthcoming decades there and our offspring will have to find future there. So unless and until we continue becoming just passive followers of political coteries, the famously proclaimed ‘New Nepal’ will remain a distant dream. I would like to tell the same thing to Nepalese youths which Arvind Adiga said to Indian youths through Balram Halwai, a character of his novel. He said:

“The book of your revolution sits in the pit of your belly, young Indian. Crap it out, and read. Instead of which, you're all sitting in front of color TVs and watching cricket and shampoo advertisements.”

19 Life Tips By Dalai Lama

2009-04-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

I definitely don't believe in any organized religions, but that does not deprive me of being a spiritual kid. However, I do love teachings given by some guys, despite their labels of being under certain organized religion or spiritual camp. The present Dalai Lama is one of them. He follows Buddhism, of course, and live in exile in India. He had been awarded the Nobel Peace prize for his contribution to free Tibet movement in Tibet. Here is a collection of some of his statements and sayings which are pretty nice to read and ponder and apply, if that seems possible at all.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Old posts

2009-04-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Are you a smoker? Nice! You get girls easily!!

The Third Generation (2009) is ready! How and why?

An Ecological Date? Yeeess..

The Third Generation (Tesro Pusta) Watch Promo

Romeo- Juliet and some love quotes for summer

When Sun is in the sky

´कस्तो´ हैन ´सस्तो´

Yudishthira's Wisdom

Sixth Sense Technology? Yes!

Why this, Why that?

Best Journalism Photos

What to do in Nepal, when you are a tourist (Part I)

What to do in Nepal (Part II)

Chanakya Quotes on Life, Success, God and Women

Dateline Helsinki (Prachanda and his Finland visit)

19 Tips for life by Dalai Lama

An Excerpt (Oh my God, I'm Godless!)

Identity Matters

An excerpt

2009-03-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

....I returned home at midnight, sad and frustrated. I cursed that philosopher more than a hundred times before I went to bed that night. When I started this god-searching mission, my sleep had plummeted to 3-4 hours from the usual 9-12 hours. That night also, I could not sleep, but continued thinking about God. If he is not dead yet, where is he? I thought, perhaps, he was badly injured in an accident and getting treated at a hi-tech hospital somewhere on this planet. I wished he wasn’t in coma or terminally ill because of any disease. What happens if God was badly infected with HIV virus and receiving an active anti-retroviral therapy? That would be funny to see, I thought. Whatever the reason of sickness, I determined, when I go to meet God at hospital, I should not forget to carry some fruits and juice bottles for him.....

(An excerpt from my essay 'Oh My God, I'm Godless'...the essay will be published after a century:P )

2009-03-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

Identity Matters

2009-03-08T04:04:00.000-07:00

It was almost a month ago. I had to write an essay on identity as my school assignment, but it was difficult to begin with. I was also thinking about the best way to begin with. Amidst that inner meddling, I got a call from my employer, whom I had never seen by then, and he said, "Are you the four- to- six boy?"

"Oh, yes," I said, "Is something wrong?"

I was working for him from four to six in the evening, so he had named me like that. Our conversation continued and he didn't bother to ask my name. For him, I remained 'the four-to-six boy' for several months. However, later on the situations brought us near and we became good acquaintance .

But in my entire life, the four- to- six-boy identity has been the most amusing one. I miss that. Sometimes.

Yes, I'm writing this assignment about identity and ,on one hand I found that my identity has changed a lot during the course of time, and on the other hand, there is a huge possibility that my identity abruptly changes from something mundane to something nice if I decide to change my current place of residence and, with that, my present occupation as well.

In fact, that’s not very boring if I mention those mysterious labels of mine now. More than a year ago I entered Finland- a middle class Nepalese boy in early twenties, loyal vegetarian, a fair observer of Hindu-Buddhist religious tradition, and a staunch follower of Asian way of doing things: like eating at least a bowl of rice everyday with hands. After this period of time there have been some changes in my identity traits, and such changes, in fact, are the product of my own views and others’ point of view also. Nevertheless, there are some identity traits that are not easy to change or will remain with me forever. For instance, I will always be a brown-black man of Nepalese origin with Nepali mother tongue. And I will have to label myself as an Asian in those internet dating sites or wherever.

One thing strikes me a lot. I don’t have any religion at the moment. Within this period of time I turned out to be an agnostic. I saw the differences, I studied quite many doctrines of different religions, I reasoned (though some people said it is not reason but faith is what I need) and found my peace of mind in agnosticism. I don’t know it is healthy or not, however, I am sure that my second identity that I recently developed is bit unhealthy: I am no longer a vegetarian. I used to be a tough vegetarian guy with memberships of different vegetarian societies from around the world, but I have lost that sort of pride and I think if I see my those old vegetarian friends again they will offer me one unhealthy thing- pity.

Why did I do so? Because I felt that vegetarian food was no longer providing me enough energy to cope up with my changed daily routine and non-veg. foodstuff were suitable for my tight student budget as well. This gradual shift made me realise that one is obliged to reshape his or her identity on the basis of need and circumstances. That is exactly what I did.

Where is my real identity here and now? Sometimes I feel the real identity is not so apparent like my second type of identity which is in numbers and statistics. There are some institutions where my identity has been codified into numbers, letters, symbols and so on. My bank recognises me only with the customer number that they gave to me. I have got another very important code which is called Personal Identity Number. If I don’t have that thing, I suspect, I can live here for more than a week. I have a passport and a number without which I cannot get even a ticket issued to visit my family back home. I wonder whether it is rational to conclude that I have been summed up in numbers, whereas, my real identity is shadowed, smashed.

I am just back from visiting my family living in Nepal. Of course, I had quite important meetings and interactions, but it was a nice opportunity for me to observe the fact that how my identity was changing in my own country. And especially girls made that part easier. In the west, whenever some girls are trying to kick off some romantic affair with me, I notice that they retreat pretty soon because I’m not a white western man, don’t follow the Christian tradition or their brand of faith, don’t speak their native language and all these things make me less suitable and desirable, and girls do not see any future with me.

In contrast, in the eyes of Nepalese girls, I am very different and perhaps more desirable due to the fact that I have been educated in the west, have fairly good social capital and I come from a nice family. Because of all these I get more plus points in their romantic affair equation and, of course, the first thing the girls find in me will be the guarantee of a secure future. You see, I’m the same individual, but one party does not see any future with me and another bloc will be more than happy to be with me because I’m bound to have a stable future. It is amazing.

During these fateful years another important change occurred in my political identity as well, and the worst factor is that I even did not notice it on time. When Nepal became a republic, in the wake, a movement erupted throughout the nation where people started demanding rights on regional basis. Those living in the fertile Terai region started saying that they want a separate autonomous province. This movement virtually divided the indivisible Nepalese into different regional factions and I as well as my family with other millions of people were labelled as pahadiyas, those who come from the hills. With this division came another identity of being Pahadiya, and sometimes it was difficult to differentiate which identity was of solid value- being a Nepali or Pahadiya or both.

Multiple identities and roles really create conflict within you. It happened and is still happening with me as well. I start my day as a shop cleaner and end as a blogger. And in the middle of these points there are several other identities through which I swing throughout the day and quite many times I realise ‘oh, that’s me’. Thus my identity is fragmented and fluid as well.

I think it is not worthless if I talk little bit about what sort of identity I want to develop or what I want other people to see in me. I want to be something that I am not at the moment. My internal identity is that actually I am already that person, but no one knows it yet. If I tell them that I am that person, they don’t believe it because I don’t have notable work to show them. So does it mean that an identity needs something to show in order to prove it, attest it? My answer is a big YES.

There is a small story connected with my motivation of being that person and my identity’s crush on it. Actually, I wanted to or still want to be that person, but something came from inside me and said, ‘you have least possibilities of being that.' I thought the reason being a valid one, and dumped the idea of being that man at least from that way. What was the option left? Of course, I can do that differently, but I fear that my choice of alternatives take me somewhere else instead of giving me that identity which I passionately desire to acquire .

Unfortunately, I'm writing this identity thing not in my own language. I'm sure that I can write anything better in Nepali than in other languages. Because that is the language that has been spoken and mastered by my forefathers for hundreds of years. I can depict tears, rage, love, hate everything eloquently and I can fully express myself in it. This is the language that I probably would be using on my death-bed because this language is a part of me, it is what makes me, supplements me. It is an inherent part of my real, solid and imperishable identity.

(An edited version of assignment submitted to my school for academic purposes, January 2009)